Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
