Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
