Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
