it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
