Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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