Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize