Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I want to be your penis for a week.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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