i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize