she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
