I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
