Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
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