dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
