you mean i was at the winter classic?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
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why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
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I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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