party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
