The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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