it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
