I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize