I can text with my tongue
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
