I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize