I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
