I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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