her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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