Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he thought i was a dude.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
