i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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