So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
