so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she told me i tasted like america
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I love you. Go after that dick
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize