"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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