Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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