i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
