HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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