I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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