was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
two words...techno handjob
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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