Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
