Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My bed smells like the plague
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
