just survived the first fart of the relationship.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
