There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
