i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
