Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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