I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
