After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
