great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
