This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she looked like the before picture.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
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I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
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He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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