I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
