things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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