did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
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you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
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When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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