Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
there is glitter all over my balls
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