I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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