I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
