We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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