I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
