She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So. Much. Porn.
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