Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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