ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
