you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
