Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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