Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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