My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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