He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
