DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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