are you still at the devil's house?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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