Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
